Welcome Home...

Hello Blog! Long time, no write!


I think I have quite a blogworthy post finally. :-)


sooo... It's been a while, and a lot has changed since my last post. I'll try and keep it as simple and non-boring as I can.


On July 21, John quit his job with Knight Office Solutions, because he and the company just weren't compatible. He wasn't really sure what he wanted to do once he quit, but we knew that we couldn't afford for him to not work at all.


On July 26, I sent out an email to the staff at Oak Hills that basically said "Hey! John's not working, but if you'd like to help us out - John can detail your car for cheap!" Oh. My. Goodness. Within 20 minutes the rest of that week was totally booked! He extended a great price to the OHC staff, and word has just continued to spread. Here it is - now the middle of September, and he has been booked solid since! There have literally been 2 days (not counting sundays) that he hasn't scheduled a car. It's been unbelievable! At first we joked about him just continuing to do cars (it was making almost double the money he was making at Knight Office), and not looking for a job. He had a few dead-end interviews, so he just kept detailing cars....


Fast Forward to late August... John and I were having a random conversation and something came up about my grandfather's shop that he had in Buna. He used to do some car remodeling, and carpentry inside. I have lots of memories in there from when I was younger! Fun times...

Anyways - that interested John, so I told him I would just throw the idea out to my dad. My grandfather is now in the nursing home, so there's a pretty good chance he would never operate out of the shop again. :-(

I sent my dad a text message: "Do you have the keys to gpapa's shop?" , "Yes, why?"


I called him - told him our idea. He said that it was so strange - he had been thinking about that shop for the past month, and wondered what he could do with it - he didn't want to see it get run down and fall to pieces.


Soooo.... *insert a bunch of boring details here*. John and I visited the shop and Gpapa's little house right next to it on Labor Day weekend. Both buildings need a lot of work, and clean up - thanks to Hurricanes Rita and Ike, but when John walked in - he saw a blank canvas. Both places have such potential, and could really be fixed up nice.


When I moved to San Antonio on August 13 2005, i wanted out immediately. My main goal in life became "How am I gonna get out of this place?" Several times I've asked God to let me move home, and several times, God has said "NO!" There have been times I was angry, because there was so much going on, and I was so far away. I've missed weddings, funerals & significant events in the lives of many of my family, but God has kept me in San Antonio. I do find it a bit ironic that once I finally settled in, and accepted that I was going to be in San Antonio, and got all comfy cozy with my feet up, God was like "Welp, time to go, Melissa!" I questioned it and questioned it, and prayed for clarity, and God has given us that through several different events - both big and small.



San Antonio has brought me some of the most wonderful things in my life as well. I met and married the most wonderful husband! I got to feel what it was like to be pregnant, even if it was for a short time. I've grown some wonderful friendships. I've had some incredible singing opportunities... I mean, I've sang with Kim Hill, Melissa Lawson (Winner of Nashville Star), Michael Boggs (Of FFH), and Michael W. Smith!!! I mean - for a small town country girl - these things are HUGE! Not to mention I've worked with Max Lucado for 5 years.


There are things, however, that are in our lives for just a season, and over the past few weeks, God has revealed to us - San Antonio is one of those.


After much prayer and consideration - John and I will be leaving San Antonio, and heading to Buna to pursue building his business, Perfections Detail. We have no idea what we're doing - how to run a small business, remodel a house, and a shop... I have LOTS of researching to do between now and then. I know one thing for sure - QuickBooks!!



Our projected "leave San Antonio" date is - November 26-27. We will spend Thanksgiving with John's family, and then hopefully roll out a couple of days after that.


This has been a very tough decision, as I'm having a very hard time leaving Oak Hills. This is my family. They have seen me through some of my worst times, but they have also gotten to rejoice with me in celebrations as well!


I ask that you pray. Pray for John and I as we embark on this new journey. We really don't have any financial resources to take this project on, but i know that if God is telling us to do this - then He will provide those resources.


I will do my best to keep the blog updated with pictures and progress for my friends who will be far away!


until next post...

The future Perfections Detail & Parker House!

Under Construction

ok - so today, i was for some reason inspired to redo my blog. Thanks, Sarah. :-)

Since mine has been very umm... bland lately, why don't you hop on over, and make a new friend like I did! Check out BioGirl's blog. She has an adorable little boy, and is just fun to read! :-)

Just be patient as I work on this. I'm really not experienced at all in redesigning, but we'll see how it goes! You'll see things come and go over the next few days, I'm sure.

He Gives and Takes Away

God gives. God takes away.

I think as Christians, we become pretty familiar with how God gives and takes away in our lives. I can think of many times when He's done just that. My latest example? Our little baby. He gave us that baby. and He took it away. I'm ok with that, really, because He is God. Was I angry at God? yes. Was I completely devastated? yes. Did I question God? at first, yes. But no longer do I question Him.

There has been no news on the fertility front lately, because my body still hasn't "reset" yet.

John has been working as a cable technician with Time Warner Cable for a little over 2 years now. While it had its good times sprinkled in, it was so inundated with negative things, and the longer John was with them, the unhappier I saw him get. Never seemed to fail - he would be having a good day, and at his very last job, something would happen, and he would be two hours past when he should have been off. Or, he would actually get off on time, but would have to take teammates jobs, because they were running behind.. (Don't get me wrong, they had to do that for him, too..) The late nights were becoming more and more common, and yet when his paychecks would come, there would be 1-2 hours of overtime on them... HUH? you've GOT to be kidding me. They give these techs soooo many jobs a day, and expect them to get everything done within a short amount of time; they aren't able to eat lunch half the time, but you know what? Time Warner still docked an hour from their paychecks every day for lunch, whether they went or not. This year - came tax time. We were so excited! and then I sat down to file them, and realized something was horribly wrong. We owe $800!!!! Again - what the heck? John started doing research and realized they were not pulling the right amount of taxes out. One check - they had only pulled $5 in federal withholdings!! Before you ask - yes, we checked, and he was filing Married and Zero. I didn't make much more than him, but I had double the taxes withheld from my checks he did. He called corporate, and the lady was so ready to get him off the phone - she was like "Yep. Everything looks good over here!." She made up something along the lines of "Texas must have changed something, because we didn't." bleh. Texas, first of all, doesn't pay taxes, and second of all - BS!

Anyways - I could go on and on and on, but I won't.

John had a job. He had an income. We were ok financially, but could have been a lot better. John wasn't getting paid what he deserved for all the work he did, and it didn't look like things were going to get any better, despite all the promises made to him by different people...

Time Warner had excellent benefits, though. Remember this post? In case you don't, or you dont' have time to read - this is the post where I celebrated the fact that we found out John's insurance would completely cover our fertility treatments.

Let me tell you - there has been a lot of praying in the Parker house about this. We knew that if John left Time Warner, the wonderful benefits would go away, and the fact is - we cannot afford fertility treatments on our own. Those benefits are really the main reason John didn't look for another job sooner. We want more than anything to have a baby.

Yesterday, John resigned his position with Time Warner. He accepted a new position with a company called Knight Office Solutions. He is moving into sales, and if you know John personally - you know this will be perfect for him. His personality just says it all! He will be making more money, and for the first time since we've met (and for the first time since he can last remember) he will be working Monday - Friday! Normal Business Hours! No more working holidays!

So God is giving John this great opportunity, but He is taking away the means for us to get the fertility treatments we have been so excited about.

I'm ok with this, though. John is who I have right now, and nothing broke my heart more than to hear of his bad days every single day. I couldn't stand to see him so unhappy. My main concern became John's happiness, and success in his career. This job caused a lot of stress, and has made some life living very difficult for us. John is the most important person in my life right now, so I'm willing to give up something I have wanted for years now because he means just that much to me.

Once again, I'm at peace.

I totally hate the cliche statements -

"It's all in God's time."

"God's gonna give you a baby when He thinks you're ready."

"God just has other plans for you." yadda yadda yadda...

While these are some of the least comforting statements, I believe they are true. I believe that even though it seems as if God's closing the fertility treatment door, this may be His way of telling us that we don't need the fertility treatments anyway. I got pregnant once, and maybe that's why we went through the first one, just so He could show us that it IS possible for us to get pregnant.

God is moving in our lives right now in more ways than I can even tell right now! I'm nervous and excited and all sorts of things right now - strapped in and ready to go along for the ride.

Thank you for your continued prayers for us. This will be a bit of a rough transition for a few weeks, but we're up for it! John starts his new job on Monday!

Here we go God!

Officially Over

The fatigue is gone. The soreness is 95% gone. The physical pain is gone. The baby is gone.

The one thing that is not gone, however is my love for our baby. More love than I thought possible in such a short time.

I was in such pain Saturday, I finally lost any little bit of hope I had that our baby would survive, and would be born big and healthy in October. I couldn't move. I was confined to the floor. My breasts ached worse than I had ever felt, and I couldn't turn over, move, or anything without wanting to scream. On top of the pain I was already feeling. I found myself yelling at God. Begging Him to take the baby if that's what His plan was. To please not drag this out (me, on the internet again had read stories of people who waited WEEKS to miscarry a baby - I could not imagine...) and let us have false hope. The pain subsided temporarily. Until about 3 AM Sunday. It was agony. I seriously felt like I was in labor. I'd have major sharp pains, and then they would die down, and I would doze off. Then they'd come right back, and we repeated this process. I tried to wake John up, but couldn't. I managed to get up and get my phone, some headphones, and a cold rag. I put Pandora on my Fernando Ortega station, and tried to relax.

Of course all that did was make me cry. and then bawl, and then blubber... This woke John up. I finally got him to get me some Tylenol PM (i hadn't taken anything, since I hadn't started bleeding yet). I just laid in his arms and we cried together until about 5 that morning. When the meds kicked in, i finally was able to get some sleep, and we slept until after 11.

I got up that morning, and it had begun. I knew it was over. I was still in a lot of pain off and on Sunday, and was still dog tired. John and I laid around, played a bunch of WoW, and just tried to keep ourselves occupied.

Yesterday morning, I was going to try and go to work, but when I got up, I was very weak and pretty dizzy. I decided I should just stay home and try to rest some more. John got up to go to work as usual, and I was just about to doze back off when I heard the door open. I thought he had forgotten his phone, but he came back into the bedroom, put his stuff down, and told me his boss had told him to stay home. :-) I was very happy. We went back to sleep for a while.

Later, I found out that John had completely forgotten his schedule changed, and he doesn't work on Mondays anymore! HA! Silly John and his poor memory. :-)

I have thoroughly enjoyed the time I've gotten to spend with him over the past week. I feel this sadness has brought us closer together than we've ever been. We're coping really well together, and have had a lot of deep talks about our future and what our plans are. What we hope to see accomplished.

God has definitely been there, too. I can feel the prayers. I can feel His love. I can feel Peace. He has shown me in so many different ways how He is there. A friend of mine shared this scripture with me last Friday:

Psalm 34:17-18
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

To say my spirit was crushed through all this would be an understatement - but I feel He has done just that. He has saved me from that darkness. He has heard my cry. He has given me a peace about this all, and I have hope that John and I will have a baby. I have hope that we can try again soon, and be successful.

Thanks to each and every one of you who has called, emailed, or contacted me in some way through this. I'm sorry if I missed your call, and didn't return it - or if I seem distant. At this point, I'm really not up for talking about it in person with anyone - I'm ready to go on. I know eventually, I will want to talk about it again, but i feel right now that bringing it up will not help us to move ahead.

Just Waiting...

I don't feel any different. I still feel as pregnant as I did last weekend, when everything was fine.

I wish I hadn't had that bloodwork done on Wednesday. At least if I was going to miscarry, then i would only know when it already happened. But sitting around, waiting to miscarry? This is for the birds.

I just hope it happens soon. I want this to be over with.

I'm sooooo very thankful to have the support of family and friends... What would I do without y'all?

And just like that....

It's over.

There will be no baby in October.

5 Weeks

Last Monday morning marked day 13 after my first IUI. I had prepared the night before and laid out an HPT, and told John that I wasn't sure if I was going to take it the next morning or not. I was a nervous wreck. I had taken so many only to be disappointed. I could buy stock in the HPT companies I've used so many in the past 9 years.

So - Monday morning, I wake up - take the test. As I'm sitting there, I'm anxiously watching the little lines all show up as they're supposed to. And then I see it. But was it really there? I had slept in my contacts, so my eyes were pretty fuzzy, and I really wasn't awake yet. So I sat it down, and waited a few more minutes and looked again. It was barely there, but it was there. I didn't know what to do. I just started shaking, and immediately went to wake up John. It was such a surreal moment. I honestly don't remember exactly what I told him, but I think I said something about "There are two lines!"

I knew that I wasn't far along at all, and figured that's why it was so faint. I called my mom at 6:30 that morning, and woke her up, and told my dad right after. I told a few people at work, but asked them to keep it quiet, because I wanted to wait until I got the results from my bloodwork, which was Thursday.

I got home Monday evening, and immediately picked up the test. I freaked, because the line seemed to totally disappear! (Now, I know you're not supposed to read them after 10 minutes, but i couldn't control my mind.) I was so freaked out that John and I went that night and bought more. I took another one that evening, and i had prepared myself that since it was so late in the day, and so early in the pregnancy, there would probably be nothing there. I was wrong. There it was again. Faint, but there. I took another one Tuesday morning, and another one Wednesday morning. All very faint positives. Stupid me, though. I'm such a googler. I'm looking up all kinds of stuff about faint positives, and disappearing positives, and evaporation lines, and anything else I could conjure up in my tee-niney little brain.

By Wednesday night, I was in tears, because I had convinced myself those were all evaporation lines, and I wasn't in fact pregnant. I started regretting telling anyone, and wondering to myself - "Why didn't I just wait?" /sigh

I barely slept Wednesday night, knowing i had bloodwork at 7:30 the next morning. I had called them Wednesday and asked how long it would take to get the results back, because by this time, I was ready to check myself into a nut house, and ask them to knock my lights out.

So we got up, gave the Doctor's office some of my blood, went home, and waited. and waited. and waited. I paced, tried to sleep, paced, played wow, watched TV, tried to sleep, paced... you get the picture.

Thank goodness I set up my iPhone to sync with my work email, and now when we get voicemails on our phones, we get an email as well. I was sitting there, and heard an email come in on my phone, and I saw RMA of Texas. When I listened to the message - I just heard "Congratulations" and didn't hear the rest of the message. I had no clue what else she said. Once I went back and listened again, I was glad I did - because i needed to schedule another appointment! hehe...

So here I am. My second round of bloodwork was yesterday, and she said the HcG hormone was rising beautifully.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I still can't believe it. I had no idea I would be this way. I thought - meh - pregnancy, I'll be excited. I find myself moving around carefully (cause at first I didn't want to "shake" anything loose. HA!), and i worry about every little pain, or strange feeling I have. I still had almost convinced myself even the bloodwork was wrong. After yesterday's results, though, I'm just like - "Hey! Dummy! Sit back, relax and enjoy the life God is growing inside of you!" So that's what I'm going to do. I'm so very thankful that God is giving us this opportunity to have a child of our own. To love, to care for, to be needed...

I'm five weeks today, So - Here's what my baby will be doing this week:

(Taken from babycenter.com)
Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.

The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.

His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.

The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

Seriously? My baby's heart will begin to beat this week! Wow. Amazing. This is going to be a great journey!

Symptoms so far: Mild mild nausea every once in a while, extreme fatigue (i slept in my car before coming into to work), and crazy emotions - cry like a baby. Other than that, I think i feel pretty decent. Oh... and the girls are soooo sore, that it hurts to lay in bed, and wakes me up all night long. bleh.

Hmmm... ok?

First of all, if you're expecting a little one in the near future, or you have recetly had one - please please please do not be offended. I just have to get this off my chest.

This week alone, i have learned of about 5 people who are pregnant (on top of those I already knew about). /sigh ok. Seriously? I mean, really?

Lord, what are you trying to do to me? Especially in my 2WW? I seriously would like to crawl under a rock until next Thursday, or whatever day I finally give in and POAS. It's still way to early, being only 9DPIUI, but I'm like. hmmm... can I wait until Monday? who knows?

I'm so silly sometimes, tho - sitting still and just trying to see if I feel anything. anything. A little sharp pain somewhere, a tiny bit of nausea, dizziness, fatigue, anything. I even sit there, and think about different foods, and see what I feel. Do I feel repulsed by it? Do I all of a sudden want it, and will not stop until I get it? nope. Of course - I can make myself feel all of those things if I want to.

Like - I'll get a quick 5 second wave of nausea, but it passes. I wanna fall asleep on my desk, but yet, I can't sleep. The other night, I felt this crazy little numbness come and go on the left side of my belly, and I thought to myself - hmm... implantation that might have touched a nerve?

I'm seriously torturing myself. I so want this to have worked. I'm actually not sure if I can handle this crazy emotional roller coaster again if it doesn't work. I do not like the demon that comes out in me when I get angry. and I mean angry. Things breaking and flying across the apartment angry. Uncontrollable anger with shaking and wanting to pass out anger. that's only come out of couple of times, but that's more than plenty.

Last night - I went from raging to crying uncontrollably. Everything made me cry. Then John made me laugh and I was actually laughing and sobbing at the same time. geez...

All I can do at this point is pray. If this IUI didn't work - i either need different meds, or to not do this at all. While I want a baby more than anything in this world right now - I'm not willing to let John stay in the line of fire constantly. I love him with everything that I am - he's the most amazing man, and I'm not gonna lose him.

ok -done ranting now. now back to your regularly scheduled programs.

2WW - Half way there!

I'm halfway through my two week wait now. /sigh. Can I just go to sleep, and wake up next Thursday? Here's an update since my IUI last Tuesday. (this is an email that I sent to several friends on Facebook, but I thought it would work here, too.)

It was not a great week. Last Sunday evening, I took the HcG "trigger" shot, and Monday morning, I was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable. I just felt really "full." Tuesday morning, John and I went in for the IUI, and it wasn't my normal doctor that did it. It was another lady in the office, and she really doesn't say much. She was just like "well, everything looks good! Lay here until this timer goes off, and then you can leave." I have no idea what size the follicles were, how many had developed, or anything. Silly me kept thinking she would take the measurements, but by the time I thought to ask, she was already out. So, anyways... By Tuesday afternoon, i was VERY uncomfortable - Like I had been pumped full of air. I did go to work, but i couldn't sit in my chair very long, so I ended up just going back home to the couch. Wednesday was ok, and ThursDAY was meh.. Thursday night, tho. Oh. my. gosh. It was awful. I was in tears from the pain, and i don't generally cry from pain. I have a pretty high pain tolerance. THe pressure was almost more than I could handle, and well, it was just painful. I was about to have John take me to the ER, but i decided to call the Doctor's office first. I left a message, and within 5 minutes. yes, FIVE minutes, my doctor called me back. He's so funny. He was apologizing to me for calling from a restaurant that decided to start playing disco music right as he called. haha... anyways - as soon as I told him what I was feeling - he knew what it was. He told me to take a couple of Extra Strength Tylenol, and come in Friday morning. It took a little while, but the meds kickd in, and i got some relief.

Long story short - once he did the ultrasound, he was right - I had Moderate Ovarian Hyperstimulation Sydrome (OHSS). My body had way overreacted to the meds, so I really was "full." :-) I did have a cyst rupture as well, so there was quite a bit of fluid build up. This one was mild compared to the ruptured cysts I had in 2003 in Houston, that landed me in the hospital for 2 days. He told me to just take it easy - not to make any brisk movements, just so that another didn't rupture as well. He also told me to stay home - not to sing this weekend as I was scheduled to do.

The good news is - he said that this could be a positive thing. He said a lot of times this develops and goes to the moderate stage (of the three stages, mild, moderate, severe) if there is a pregnancy. :-)

I couldn't help but smile, but it's way too soon for me to get my hopes up yet. FOr the most part, the pain has subsided. I still get small waves of pretty crazy pain, but i can walk normal now, where as last week, i was crouched over when i walked.

Thank you for your prayers, and please continue. One more week, and while i feel like this week is going to last forever - I look back, and can't believe the IUI was a week ago tomorrow! wow.

I'm incredibly sleepy this morning after a good night's sleep, and have a small headache. hmmm...Of course - I'm so mental - i could make myself have every symptom there is if I wanted to. bleh. :-)

I will continue to keep you updated!

It's HOT!

So, in honor of our A/C being out here at the office, I would like to share one of my favorite Shel Silverstien poems.

We have hit a smeltering 82 degrees in the office (I know, that's not THAT hot, but inside a stuffy building with 50 people.... it's HOT!!!!) Thankfully, it seems to be only one unit out.

Now, without further adieu...


It’s Hot!
By Shel Silverstein

It’s hot!
I can’t get cool,
I’ve drunk a quart of lemonade,
I think I’ll take my shoes off
And sit around in the shade.

It’s hot!
My back is sticky,
The sweat rolls down my chin.
I think I’ll take my clothes off
And sit around in my skin.

It’s hot!
I’ve tried with ‘lectric fans,
And pools and ice cream cones.
I think I’ll take my skin off
And sit around in my bones.

It’s still hot!

Happy Chillin!

Happy New Year, some updates, and new car!

Happy New Year!

So, for my first post of 2010, I'd like to start out by saying that as far as my goals for last year... well, EPIC FAIL. I'm ok with that, tho, because 2009 was one hell of a year. (sorry for the use of the word hell.)

I can be totally ok with the fact that I didn't accomplish the goals I set for myself, because I, in fact, accomplished a lot of things this year. The biggest? My $61k debt - paid off. I am free from my debt! Well, until my impulse buy took place on December 30. (more about that to come.)

I also accomplished some pretty major projects at my office this year, including helping facilitate three major moves of our office staff into separate locations. I learned so many new things, but I will say this - If the word "Move" comes up in regards to the offices, I'm runnin! :-) hehe... nah - I really enjoyed almost every minute of it.


Other major things for 2009: My grandmother learned she had breast cancer, and had a mastectomy to remove it, my mom was admitted into ICU on her death bed due to Aspirin Toxicity, and we certainly will never forget the loss of someone who fought so hard against that nasty "C" word we hate so much. Troy will always be missed and loved, but knowing he is cancer free - Well, you can't help but celebrate that! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him and Jeremy and PawPaw. I just wish we were all there with them!

John and I took a vacation to Destin, FL, and this was the first actual vacation I had been on since I still lived at home with mom and dad. 1992, i believe it was. We had so much fun. The sights were beautiful, and since we were there in the off season, there were no crowds, and our condo, which was absolutely GORGEOUS, was so cheap!!! I would love to go back next year, but due to our impulse buy (mentioned above, and to be described below) might have just cancelled that trip for us! (Unless, some others wanted to go and split the costs!) :-) Any takers?

So, with that being said - I'm not going to set any goals this year for myself. I plan to take this year one day at a time, because you never know what could happen, and what could change. Here's to 2010!

-

I got to go to Buna this year for Christmas - and other than the above mentioned happenings, this is the first time I got to visit since LAST year. We got to spend quite a bit of time there, so that was good. My mom is doing WAAAAAY better than I've seen her in years, and that made the visit so much more enjoyable. I've always had a hard time leaving her when she wasn't doing so well, because I was worried about her. I thought it would be easier if she was doing better, because I wouldn't worry so much. I learned pretty quickly this wasn't the case at all. It was MUCH harder to leave her - because she's the mom I've wanted back for a long time. The mom that i could actually get out and do things with. The mom i could go [window] shopping with, and take out to eat. The mom I could enjoy - and yet - I'm hours away, and don't get to enjoy those times with her. We both cried extremely hard when John and I packed that little red rocket up and headed back west. I also got to spend some good time with my dad and grandfather, not to mention a lot of my family that I haven't seen in forever! /sigh What a wonderful holiday it was. The best I've had in a long time.


On the way home from Buna, John and I got to talking about the future. We were talking about how there could be a baby this year, and as we began looking around the car, we realized that if there's a baby - there's NO ROOM!!! That car was packed so full, that John had to empty our food bag, and slide food into any little nook and cranny he could find. My Honda is bigger than his car, but it had sooooo many miles on it, and was beginning to have little problems here and there, so we didn't like to travel in it. I basically used it to go back and forth to work. It was still a great car, don't get me wrong - and I loved it, but we didn't totally trust it. We kinda tossed around some SUVs we liked, and then that was the end of the conversation.

Tuesday morning (Dec. 29), I emailed my mother in law, who works at Tom Benson Chevrolet here in town, just to check in with her, and at the end, I just asked if she could get me a price on a couple of SUVs there at the dealership. Told her we weren't doing anything right now, just kinda starting to plan for the future.



Wednesday, we had off, and I asked John if he would like to go pick his mom up, and take her to lunch, since we didn't get to spend Christmas with them, and she's been pretty stressed lately. Soooo.... We went and picked her up, and took her to lunch. When we got back to the dealership, she told us she had spoken with someone who could give us more info on the cars we were looking at. So we walk over to the used car lot, because there was an Equinox there, and we got a little interested in a couple of other SUVs sitting on the lot as well. One, however, caught our eye. a 2006 Nissan Murano. It was beautiful. and not a color that you see on the road every day. I've seen a ton of white ones, and those wine colored ones, but not this gray. When I peeked in through the window, I just knew we couldn'y afford this car, but we asked for the keys anyways. When he came back out, he told us the price. We were shocked! This car had some minor body blemishes, but nothing that couldn't be fixed with a high speed and some polish, and it only had 15k miles on it! On top of the already low price, we got the employee price as well, because of John's mom. sweet! We took it for a test drive, and fell in love with it.

I hesitated, though, because of the whole financing thing. We knew what we could afford, and really hated the thought of having two car notes. We knew that if we could get something for about the same as what we're paying for the SRT4, we could do it. We told him we had a Honda for trade in but it was at home, and needed a little cleaning (We left it at home on purpose. So that we couldn't leave the lot with something.) HA! that didn't work! So, we drove home, cleaned out the Honda, took it to the car wash, and went back to the lot. As we were cleaning, I was praying. "Lord, if it's your will for us to have this car, and you know that we can handle the payments of two cars, then I pray you work this out. If it's not in your plans for us to have this car, then I pray the financing doesn't work out. But Lord, if it doesn't, please help me to be ok with that. Please help me to not be too disappointed, because at least the Honda still runs, and I'm thankful for that."


Fast forward FIVE HOURS. Yes, FIVE HOURS. I was nauseated i was so nervous. I really thought we'd be leaving with that Honda, which was ok. We had told each other that that would be ok with us. We didn't need to get rid of the Honda, per se. Robert, our salesman, walked out of the finance office, and gave us the thumbs up, and proceeded to write our name on the "Today's Sales" board. WOOT!!! I can't believe we got it!! We waited about another hour before everything was finally done, and we signed a ton of paperwork.

Now, for the neatest part of this story?


I had to drive the Honda across and park it at the used car building. As I was getting out, there was a lady and her daughter standing there. She was like "Is this your car?" I said "Yes Ma'am." She said "We saw it, and they told us it was being traded in, and would be for sale. We want that car!"


Do HUH?? Are you serious???


These people had been car shopping ALL DAY LONG (it's about 7pm by now), and everything they found within their price range had a ton of miles on it, but was in crappy shape. My car had 120k on it, but was still in good shape. I almost wanted to cry! I told her what a great car it had been - that I was the only owner - and had put every mile on it myself. I thought she was gonna cry. I seriously saw God's hand in that whole situation. This girl is a senior in high school, and is going into the military next year, and needed something while she was still here. She was about in tears - she even asked me if I had named it! She thought it was pretty funny when I told her it was Hellina. Get it? Hellina Honda? :-) ok - cheesy I know, but they thought it was funny.


I handed the keys over to the dealership, hugged the girl's neck, and John and I left in our new car. The next day, when we brought the Honda title back, They were there, getting their financing worked out for it. I saw my little car there, and felt at peace, because I knew the right thing had been done. It may cost John and I little extra in the long run, but we helped a family out, and that makes me feel good. That car took me through a lot of stuff. Jeremy drove it when it was just a couple of weeks old to Buna for he and I to surprise mom for her birthday. Just a couple of months later, it would be driving me to his apartment after I learned he had passed away. That car took us on numerous trips to see family - it carried my dogs in it, and it protected Scott and I when we hydroplaned off of Interstate 45, almost right underneath an 18 wheeler. It nearly got traded in back when we lived in Houston, and couldn't afford to pay the note. We couldn't get financed. Then I listed it on Auto Trader, and ended up getting to keep it, because Scott got a job in San Antonio. It carried my most precious belongings to San Antonio on August 13, 2005. It was the first car I ever had that was paid off. That car helped me move my stuff out, when Scott and I split up.


Time for me to move on now, and let someone else make new memories with my Hellina! She was good to me for 7 1/2 years, but I have someone new to make memories with now. I don't have a name for her yet, but I will come up with one.



So - there ya have it. A totally unexpected New Year's present!

Here are some pictures. Since these were taken, we've cleaned the car totally and conditioned the seats and complete interior, so it looks even better!