5 Weeks

Last Monday morning marked day 13 after my first IUI. I had prepared the night before and laid out an HPT, and told John that I wasn't sure if I was going to take it the next morning or not. I was a nervous wreck. I had taken so many only to be disappointed. I could buy stock in the HPT companies I've used so many in the past 9 years.

So - Monday morning, I wake up - take the test. As I'm sitting there, I'm anxiously watching the little lines all show up as they're supposed to. And then I see it. But was it really there? I had slept in my contacts, so my eyes were pretty fuzzy, and I really wasn't awake yet. So I sat it down, and waited a few more minutes and looked again. It was barely there, but it was there. I didn't know what to do. I just started shaking, and immediately went to wake up John. It was such a surreal moment. I honestly don't remember exactly what I told him, but I think I said something about "There are two lines!"

I knew that I wasn't far along at all, and figured that's why it was so faint. I called my mom at 6:30 that morning, and woke her up, and told my dad right after. I told a few people at work, but asked them to keep it quiet, because I wanted to wait until I got the results from my bloodwork, which was Thursday.

I got home Monday evening, and immediately picked up the test. I freaked, because the line seemed to totally disappear! (Now, I know you're not supposed to read them after 10 minutes, but i couldn't control my mind.) I was so freaked out that John and I went that night and bought more. I took another one that evening, and i had prepared myself that since it was so late in the day, and so early in the pregnancy, there would probably be nothing there. I was wrong. There it was again. Faint, but there. I took another one Tuesday morning, and another one Wednesday morning. All very faint positives. Stupid me, though. I'm such a googler. I'm looking up all kinds of stuff about faint positives, and disappearing positives, and evaporation lines, and anything else I could conjure up in my tee-niney little brain.

By Wednesday night, I was in tears, because I had convinced myself those were all evaporation lines, and I wasn't in fact pregnant. I started regretting telling anyone, and wondering to myself - "Why didn't I just wait?" /sigh

I barely slept Wednesday night, knowing i had bloodwork at 7:30 the next morning. I had called them Wednesday and asked how long it would take to get the results back, because by this time, I was ready to check myself into a nut house, and ask them to knock my lights out.

So we got up, gave the Doctor's office some of my blood, went home, and waited. and waited. and waited. I paced, tried to sleep, paced, played wow, watched TV, tried to sleep, paced... you get the picture.

Thank goodness I set up my iPhone to sync with my work email, and now when we get voicemails on our phones, we get an email as well. I was sitting there, and heard an email come in on my phone, and I saw RMA of Texas. When I listened to the message - I just heard "Congratulations" and didn't hear the rest of the message. I had no clue what else she said. Once I went back and listened again, I was glad I did - because i needed to schedule another appointment! hehe...

So here I am. My second round of bloodwork was yesterday, and she said the HcG hormone was rising beautifully.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I still can't believe it. I had no idea I would be this way. I thought - meh - pregnancy, I'll be excited. I find myself moving around carefully (cause at first I didn't want to "shake" anything loose. HA!), and i worry about every little pain, or strange feeling I have. I still had almost convinced myself even the bloodwork was wrong. After yesterday's results, though, I'm just like - "Hey! Dummy! Sit back, relax and enjoy the life God is growing inside of you!" So that's what I'm going to do. I'm so very thankful that God is giving us this opportunity to have a child of our own. To love, to care for, to be needed...

I'm five weeks today, So - Here's what my baby will be doing this week:

(Taken from babycenter.com)
Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.

The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.

His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.

The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

Seriously? My baby's heart will begin to beat this week! Wow. Amazing. This is going to be a great journey!

Symptoms so far: Mild mild nausea every once in a while, extreme fatigue (i slept in my car before coming into to work), and crazy emotions - cry like a baby. Other than that, I think i feel pretty decent. Oh... and the girls are soooo sore, that it hurts to lay in bed, and wakes me up all night long. bleh.