Tough Week...

Well, I'm one week in, and boy, let me tell you. I always choose the absolute worst times to start these things, and satan always throws things in my way to deter me from my goals. He's normally successful. I refuse to let him be this time. Here's a summary since my last post.

I was suffering from an inner ear infection, so I was barely able to stand up part of the time, due to the vertigo, and dizziness. Hard to do any exercises through all that. I did use the bean, until the dizziness was unbearable.

I have managed to start taking my Synthroid every day. I've started taking it at night, rather than in the morning, and this helps. I already feel a lot better since getting that back into my system on a regular basis.

The eating? well, that's a hard one. You see, I'm one that tends to eat when I'm upset or depressed. and I've been depressed this week.

Friday night, I went to Scott's house to get the last of my things. Scott is moving this coming weekend to Dallas. Even though we aren't married anymore, and both of us know that we aren't going to get back together, I've had a very hard time dealing with the fact that he's moving. He's the reason I moved to San Antonio in the first place, and even though I have John, I feel like I'm all alone out here. This one is hard to explain, so I'm not even going to try. I couldn't even watch him drive off the other night. I haven't cried that hard in a long time. I will miss him. I also said goodbye to my dogs. Only if you're a dog lover would you understand how hard it is to let them go. I don't know when I'll ever see them again. As a going away present from their momee, I bought them a big bag of rawhides to take with them. They're going to need something to keep them occupied, since they will be living with Uncle Mike, Aunt Patti, Cousin Katie, and newest cousin, Tinkerbelle (the cocker spaniel). Thank you to John for being so understanding when I am upset over this. I can't imagine how hard it is for him to see me grieve over Scott. I will always grieve the loss of my marriage. I will always love Scott, just not as my husband.

my mom has also been back on a downhill slope. I try my best not to get frustrated but I can't help it. As if I don't have enough going on over here...My mom's down, and several of my family members have had serious health issues, and it stresses me to no end that I'm 5 hours away from all of them. I need to be there. but I can't. We got in a big argument the other day over something I can't talk about on here, and that's the first time that's happened in a LONG time.

I have tried to be more active...get up and do things (which is so hard when the depression and the "oh woe is me" crap kicks in). John's parents have a swimming pool, and since i LOVE to swim, I've enjoyed spending Sunday afternoons swimming. It's great exercise. I finally had some motivation to get up and clean my apartment Tuesday. It's a wreck since I had to make room for my entertainment center I got from Scott. Yesterday, I decided to take the day off. I needed a day where I could just have fun. Not worry about work, not have to go to the doctor, not be at home sick....John and I went to Schlitterbahn. What a blast! I've never been there, so i just had a ton of fun. I did learn, however, that I may be allergic to the tubes, since I have a HUGE rash on both arms where I was resting on the tube. Yuck! I would say I got plenty of exercise out there, though! Lots of walking!

All that being said - I have lost 2 pounds this week, which puts me at 143. Doesn't sound like a lot, but it's perfectly healthy to lose it slower like that. Here's hoping to three more pounds by the end of July!

On another note...here's something weighing on my mind right now...---This is totally a girl thing, since even though we may not think we are, we are so competetive when it comes to relationships, and our significant others. I have never been with a guy before that blatantly gets hit on - RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I'm like HELLO!!! Stupid girl, can't you see he's with someone?? Sometimes, it's humerous, but sometimes it's not. In case you don't know, John is an installer for Time Warner Cable. This means - he goes into people's houses. all. day. long. There have been a couple of times where he and a teammate have had to leave a house because the girls were hitting on them so bad. Recently, he had one follow him every where he went, asking him questions about cable. I'm like "silly John! She didn't care about the cable!!" HA! Ok, so this weekend, some friends of ours are having a baby shower. I don't care for showers right now, seeing as how I want a baby, but am not at a stage in life right now where I can have one...*this can be another post*. I've already skipped on two showers. I can't miss this one. The husband in this couple also happens to be John's best friend, who also happens to be the brother of John's ex. the ex he dated for 7 years. SEVEN YEARS. I was married that long. John went through a lot with this girl. She knew/knows? him better than anyone else. Until I finally put a stop to it, she was still texting him his horoscope every day. She was still calling him when her car broke down (oh, she lives in Dallas). She apparently got upset when she showed up at his parent's house one day, and saw a picture of us on the fridge. While I was out of town, he stayed at my apartment, because she spent the night at his house. (She's still good friends with John's cousin Brian, who he was living with at the time.) Soooooo....Is she gonna be at the baby shower Sunday?? Jason has requested John's presence, so that they can keep each other occupied while the girls are doing their thing. :-) She could be a perfectly nice gal, but I think this could be really awkward. John showing up to her parents house for a baby shower with his new girlfriend. *sigh* I'll definitely let you know how that one goes. I forgot how dating relationships were! I'm over my insecurities with him, and I totally trust him. I know without a doubt that he loves me, and would not do anything to hurt me. I just need to meet the girl and get it over with. I'll be better after that.

ok...I've ranted long enough on that one. Gotta work now. ugh. work.