My Baby Story...so far

(ok... I just have to say that when I typed out the title, my finger slipped, and far turned into "fart". hehe)

Now, to the real post.

I realized that I had never really posted anything about my pregnancy up to this point. In the short time I was pregnant just over a year ago, I was all gung-ho about keeping everyone updated with every little detail. THis time has been different, because I've just been trying to keep myself calm, and stay relaxed so that I can at least enjoy this precious little life inside of me. :-)

So here's my story so far.

On January 8, my mom got that horrible horrible stomach virus that landed her in the ER that evening. If you know me at all, you know I'm horrified of vomiting. HORRIFIED. (Look it up, it's a real phobia - called Emetaphobia) When someone around me is sick, I completely freak out. Sooo... I was terrified I was going to catch this stupid bug, so I was bleach happy, and lysol happy. I mean, mom's really lucky that I didn't spray her down with lysol. I was on the internet researching how long this virus can stay alive on surfaces, and if you catch it, how long would it take to show up... and much more... I was freakin' paranoid!!

As that week progressed, I worried so much that I began to lose my appetite. I couldn't eat anything, and I actually would be nauseous some nights. Sometimes, I worry so much about it, that it does actually make me nauseous. That following Friday, John and I went with a Sunday School class from our church to Crossroads Bowling. We had supper, and then went to Ihop. I felt ok that night, but by the time we got to Ihop, I knew I wasn't hungry at all, so I played it safe, and ordered "air pudding." :-)

On the way home that night, I was super car sick, and thought I wasn't going to make it home. It was in the 20s outside, but I was rolling down windows, and turning the A/C up as far as it would go!! Poor John had icicles hanging from his ears.

Saturday night, we had a huge Shrimp cooking party, in honor of my dad's birthday weekend. I was able to eat a few, but not near as many as I normally would have!

By this time, I knew that something was going on. There was no way this was that silly virus, and while I still worried about it some, it wasn't the main thing on my mind at this point. I kept telling John I should take a test (even though I had already taken one way earlier in the month, and it was a BFN). That Sunday, I confided in Lauren and Shana that I was really suspecting, and that I was going to take a test soon, but wasn't going to get my hopes up.

Sooo.. That Sunday night, John and I "pretended" to go to WalMart to rent a RedBox, but we really went and bought the test.

Monday morning, January 17, I took a test... and it was a BFP!!! It wasn't like last time, where it was so faint that I had to look real hard to see it - it was blatantly there. Singing to me. :-) I calculated that at this point, I should have been 7 weeks along, so I was already farther along than last year. I was SO relieved to know I wasn't catching the stomach bug, but my loss of appetite, and random nausea was real, and not made up in my head!

We of course we told our parents, but after last year, we really didn't want to tell anyone, because retracting it was so crazy hard, and we just didn't want to go through it again. Well, of course, that didn't work, and we were telling everyone when I was 8 weeks or so. (I was still nervous about telling, but in this little town, there are no secrets!)

On January 31, I was at Happy Racket Band practice (a group I sing in from the church), and wasn't feeling all that great. When I stood up to leave and go home, I felt a huge gush, and I was just praying it wasn't blood. I called John on my way home to let him know, and that we needed to decide about going to the ER or not. I was so scared we were about to go through a loss all over again.

I got home, and it was a lot of blood, so I knew immediately we should go. We headed to Baptist Hospital, and they got me right in. Sparing the ER details, the results were:

We had an itsy bitsy teeny weeny little tiny baby that seemed to be doing just fine! I never got any true results as to what is was (though now I have my suspicions), but I didn't care. My HcG levels were good and strong, and the baby had a heartbeat of 147, so I was happy. :-) We did find out also that the baby was measuring 7 weeks instead of 9! It was a little disheartening to go back two weeks, and I thought they would never end, but they went by pretty fast!

I stayed home most of that week, and just tried to rest.

On February 6 (Super Bowl Sunday), John and I decided to just stay home. We grilled steaks, and had a great evening together. and then it happened again. great. I knew I felt the same as the weekend before - no cramps, no nothing... so I just sat down, and took it easy the rest of the night.

Since then, it's been pretty non-eventful. I've felt ok off and on, with super sensitive gag reflexes, and crazy fatigue. The fatigue was borderline miserable, because I HATE staying on the couch all the time. I want to be moving around, and be active! I have pushed through as much as I've been able to...

I had one Dr. appt so far, and to be blunt about it, I pretty much peed in a cup, and they told me I was pregnant. I was so disappointed. This office is so busy that even though I should have already been back by now, I still have another 2 weeks to wait. I will be a little over 16 weeks, so maybe... just maybe, we can find out what we're having! I can't wait! I want to be able to call our little monkey by his/her name! I have a sneaking suspicion it's a boy, but we'll see!

ok, I think I've rambled on long enough - I guess that tends to happen when you only blog once in a blue moon. :-)

I have other things I could tell, but I'll leave those for the next novel.

Here's what's happening with our Little Monkey this week - I'm 14 weeks, 3 days today:

Week 15

Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")

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Welcome Home...

Hello Blog! Long time, no write!


I think I have quite a blogworthy post finally. :-)


sooo... It's been a while, and a lot has changed since my last post. I'll try and keep it as simple and non-boring as I can.


On July 21, John quit his job with Knight Office Solutions, because he and the company just weren't compatible. He wasn't really sure what he wanted to do once he quit, but we knew that we couldn't afford for him to not work at all.


On July 26, I sent out an email to the staff at Oak Hills that basically said "Hey! John's not working, but if you'd like to help us out - John can detail your car for cheap!" Oh. My. Goodness. Within 20 minutes the rest of that week was totally booked! He extended a great price to the OHC staff, and word has just continued to spread. Here it is - now the middle of September, and he has been booked solid since! There have literally been 2 days (not counting sundays) that he hasn't scheduled a car. It's been unbelievable! At first we joked about him just continuing to do cars (it was making almost double the money he was making at Knight Office), and not looking for a job. He had a few dead-end interviews, so he just kept detailing cars....


Fast Forward to late August... John and I were having a random conversation and something came up about my grandfather's shop that he had in Buna. He used to do some car remodeling, and carpentry inside. I have lots of memories in there from when I was younger! Fun times...

Anyways - that interested John, so I told him I would just throw the idea out to my dad. My grandfather is now in the nursing home, so there's a pretty good chance he would never operate out of the shop again. :-(

I sent my dad a text message: "Do you have the keys to gpapa's shop?" , "Yes, why?"


I called him - told him our idea. He said that it was so strange - he had been thinking about that shop for the past month, and wondered what he could do with it - he didn't want to see it get run down and fall to pieces.


Soooo.... *insert a bunch of boring details here*. John and I visited the shop and Gpapa's little house right next to it on Labor Day weekend. Both buildings need a lot of work, and clean up - thanks to Hurricanes Rita and Ike, but when John walked in - he saw a blank canvas. Both places have such potential, and could really be fixed up nice.


When I moved to San Antonio on August 13 2005, i wanted out immediately. My main goal in life became "How am I gonna get out of this place?" Several times I've asked God to let me move home, and several times, God has said "NO!" There have been times I was angry, because there was so much going on, and I was so far away. I've missed weddings, funerals & significant events in the lives of many of my family, but God has kept me in San Antonio. I do find it a bit ironic that once I finally settled in, and accepted that I was going to be in San Antonio, and got all comfy cozy with my feet up, God was like "Welp, time to go, Melissa!" I questioned it and questioned it, and prayed for clarity, and God has given us that through several different events - both big and small.



San Antonio has brought me some of the most wonderful things in my life as well. I met and married the most wonderful husband! I got to feel what it was like to be pregnant, even if it was for a short time. I've grown some wonderful friendships. I've had some incredible singing opportunities... I mean, I've sang with Kim Hill, Melissa Lawson (Winner of Nashville Star), Michael Boggs (Of FFH), and Michael W. Smith!!! I mean - for a small town country girl - these things are HUGE! Not to mention I've worked with Max Lucado for 5 years.


There are things, however, that are in our lives for just a season, and over the past few weeks, God has revealed to us - San Antonio is one of those.


After much prayer and consideration - John and I will be leaving San Antonio, and heading to Buna to pursue building his business, Perfections Detail. We have no idea what we're doing - how to run a small business, remodel a house, and a shop... I have LOTS of researching to do between now and then. I know one thing for sure - QuickBooks!!



Our projected "leave San Antonio" date is - November 26-27. We will spend Thanksgiving with John's family, and then hopefully roll out a couple of days after that.


This has been a very tough decision, as I'm having a very hard time leaving Oak Hills. This is my family. They have seen me through some of my worst times, but they have also gotten to rejoice with me in celebrations as well!


I ask that you pray. Pray for John and I as we embark on this new journey. We really don't have any financial resources to take this project on, but i know that if God is telling us to do this - then He will provide those resources.


I will do my best to keep the blog updated with pictures and progress for my friends who will be far away!


until next post...

The future Perfections Detail & Parker House!

Under Construction

ok - so today, i was for some reason inspired to redo my blog. Thanks, Sarah. :-)

Since mine has been very umm... bland lately, why don't you hop on over, and make a new friend like I did! Check out BioGirl's blog. She has an adorable little boy, and is just fun to read! :-)

Just be patient as I work on this. I'm really not experienced at all in redesigning, but we'll see how it goes! You'll see things come and go over the next few days, I'm sure.

He Gives and Takes Away

God gives. God takes away.

I think as Christians, we become pretty familiar with how God gives and takes away in our lives. I can think of many times when He's done just that. My latest example? Our little baby. He gave us that baby. and He took it away. I'm ok with that, really, because He is God. Was I angry at God? yes. Was I completely devastated? yes. Did I question God? at first, yes. But no longer do I question Him.

There has been no news on the fertility front lately, because my body still hasn't "reset" yet.

John has been working as a cable technician with Time Warner Cable for a little over 2 years now. While it had its good times sprinkled in, it was so inundated with negative things, and the longer John was with them, the unhappier I saw him get. Never seemed to fail - he would be having a good day, and at his very last job, something would happen, and he would be two hours past when he should have been off. Or, he would actually get off on time, but would have to take teammates jobs, because they were running behind.. (Don't get me wrong, they had to do that for him, too..) The late nights were becoming more and more common, and yet when his paychecks would come, there would be 1-2 hours of overtime on them... HUH? you've GOT to be kidding me. They give these techs soooo many jobs a day, and expect them to get everything done within a short amount of time; they aren't able to eat lunch half the time, but you know what? Time Warner still docked an hour from their paychecks every day for lunch, whether they went or not. This year - came tax time. We were so excited! and then I sat down to file them, and realized something was horribly wrong. We owe $800!!!! Again - what the heck? John started doing research and realized they were not pulling the right amount of taxes out. One check - they had only pulled $5 in federal withholdings!! Before you ask - yes, we checked, and he was filing Married and Zero. I didn't make much more than him, but I had double the taxes withheld from my checks he did. He called corporate, and the lady was so ready to get him off the phone - she was like "Yep. Everything looks good over here!." She made up something along the lines of "Texas must have changed something, because we didn't." bleh. Texas, first of all, doesn't pay taxes, and second of all - BS!

Anyways - I could go on and on and on, but I won't.

John had a job. He had an income. We were ok financially, but could have been a lot better. John wasn't getting paid what he deserved for all the work he did, and it didn't look like things were going to get any better, despite all the promises made to him by different people...

Time Warner had excellent benefits, though. Remember this post? In case you don't, or you dont' have time to read - this is the post where I celebrated the fact that we found out John's insurance would completely cover our fertility treatments.

Let me tell you - there has been a lot of praying in the Parker house about this. We knew that if John left Time Warner, the wonderful benefits would go away, and the fact is - we cannot afford fertility treatments on our own. Those benefits are really the main reason John didn't look for another job sooner. We want more than anything to have a baby.

Yesterday, John resigned his position with Time Warner. He accepted a new position with a company called Knight Office Solutions. He is moving into sales, and if you know John personally - you know this will be perfect for him. His personality just says it all! He will be making more money, and for the first time since we've met (and for the first time since he can last remember) he will be working Monday - Friday! Normal Business Hours! No more working holidays!

So God is giving John this great opportunity, but He is taking away the means for us to get the fertility treatments we have been so excited about.

I'm ok with this, though. John is who I have right now, and nothing broke my heart more than to hear of his bad days every single day. I couldn't stand to see him so unhappy. My main concern became John's happiness, and success in his career. This job caused a lot of stress, and has made some life living very difficult for us. John is the most important person in my life right now, so I'm willing to give up something I have wanted for years now because he means just that much to me.

Once again, I'm at peace.

I totally hate the cliche statements -

"It's all in God's time."

"God's gonna give you a baby when He thinks you're ready."

"God just has other plans for you." yadda yadda yadda...

While these are some of the least comforting statements, I believe they are true. I believe that even though it seems as if God's closing the fertility treatment door, this may be His way of telling us that we don't need the fertility treatments anyway. I got pregnant once, and maybe that's why we went through the first one, just so He could show us that it IS possible for us to get pregnant.

God is moving in our lives right now in more ways than I can even tell right now! I'm nervous and excited and all sorts of things right now - strapped in and ready to go along for the ride.

Thank you for your continued prayers for us. This will be a bit of a rough transition for a few weeks, but we're up for it! John starts his new job on Monday!

Here we go God!

Officially Over

The fatigue is gone. The soreness is 95% gone. The physical pain is gone. The baby is gone.

The one thing that is not gone, however is my love for our baby. More love than I thought possible in such a short time.

I was in such pain Saturday, I finally lost any little bit of hope I had that our baby would survive, and would be born big and healthy in October. I couldn't move. I was confined to the floor. My breasts ached worse than I had ever felt, and I couldn't turn over, move, or anything without wanting to scream. On top of the pain I was already feeling. I found myself yelling at God. Begging Him to take the baby if that's what His plan was. To please not drag this out (me, on the internet again had read stories of people who waited WEEKS to miscarry a baby - I could not imagine...) and let us have false hope. The pain subsided temporarily. Until about 3 AM Sunday. It was agony. I seriously felt like I was in labor. I'd have major sharp pains, and then they would die down, and I would doze off. Then they'd come right back, and we repeated this process. I tried to wake John up, but couldn't. I managed to get up and get my phone, some headphones, and a cold rag. I put Pandora on my Fernando Ortega station, and tried to relax.

Of course all that did was make me cry. and then bawl, and then blubber... This woke John up. I finally got him to get me some Tylenol PM (i hadn't taken anything, since I hadn't started bleeding yet). I just laid in his arms and we cried together until about 5 that morning. When the meds kicked in, i finally was able to get some sleep, and we slept until after 11.

I got up that morning, and it had begun. I knew it was over. I was still in a lot of pain off and on Sunday, and was still dog tired. John and I laid around, played a bunch of WoW, and just tried to keep ourselves occupied.

Yesterday morning, I was going to try and go to work, but when I got up, I was very weak and pretty dizzy. I decided I should just stay home and try to rest some more. John got up to go to work as usual, and I was just about to doze back off when I heard the door open. I thought he had forgotten his phone, but he came back into the bedroom, put his stuff down, and told me his boss had told him to stay home. :-) I was very happy. We went back to sleep for a while.

Later, I found out that John had completely forgotten his schedule changed, and he doesn't work on Mondays anymore! HA! Silly John and his poor memory. :-)

I have thoroughly enjoyed the time I've gotten to spend with him over the past week. I feel this sadness has brought us closer together than we've ever been. We're coping really well together, and have had a lot of deep talks about our future and what our plans are. What we hope to see accomplished.

God has definitely been there, too. I can feel the prayers. I can feel His love. I can feel Peace. He has shown me in so many different ways how He is there. A friend of mine shared this scripture with me last Friday:

Psalm 34:17-18
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

To say my spirit was crushed through all this would be an understatement - but I feel He has done just that. He has saved me from that darkness. He has heard my cry. He has given me a peace about this all, and I have hope that John and I will have a baby. I have hope that we can try again soon, and be successful.

Thanks to each and every one of you who has called, emailed, or contacted me in some way through this. I'm sorry if I missed your call, and didn't return it - or if I seem distant. At this point, I'm really not up for talking about it in person with anyone - I'm ready to go on. I know eventually, I will want to talk about it again, but i feel right now that bringing it up will not help us to move ahead.

Just Waiting...

I don't feel any different. I still feel as pregnant as I did last weekend, when everything was fine.

I wish I hadn't had that bloodwork done on Wednesday. At least if I was going to miscarry, then i would only know when it already happened. But sitting around, waiting to miscarry? This is for the birds.

I just hope it happens soon. I want this to be over with.

I'm sooooo very thankful to have the support of family and friends... What would I do without y'all?

And just like that....

It's over.

There will be no baby in October.

5 Weeks

Last Monday morning marked day 13 after my first IUI. I had prepared the night before and laid out an HPT, and told John that I wasn't sure if I was going to take it the next morning or not. I was a nervous wreck. I had taken so many only to be disappointed. I could buy stock in the HPT companies I've used so many in the past 9 years.

So - Monday morning, I wake up - take the test. As I'm sitting there, I'm anxiously watching the little lines all show up as they're supposed to. And then I see it. But was it really there? I had slept in my contacts, so my eyes were pretty fuzzy, and I really wasn't awake yet. So I sat it down, and waited a few more minutes and looked again. It was barely there, but it was there. I didn't know what to do. I just started shaking, and immediately went to wake up John. It was such a surreal moment. I honestly don't remember exactly what I told him, but I think I said something about "There are two lines!"

I knew that I wasn't far along at all, and figured that's why it was so faint. I called my mom at 6:30 that morning, and woke her up, and told my dad right after. I told a few people at work, but asked them to keep it quiet, because I wanted to wait until I got the results from my bloodwork, which was Thursday.

I got home Monday evening, and immediately picked up the test. I freaked, because the line seemed to totally disappear! (Now, I know you're not supposed to read them after 10 minutes, but i couldn't control my mind.) I was so freaked out that John and I went that night and bought more. I took another one that evening, and i had prepared myself that since it was so late in the day, and so early in the pregnancy, there would probably be nothing there. I was wrong. There it was again. Faint, but there. I took another one Tuesday morning, and another one Wednesday morning. All very faint positives. Stupid me, though. I'm such a googler. I'm looking up all kinds of stuff about faint positives, and disappearing positives, and evaporation lines, and anything else I could conjure up in my tee-niney little brain.

By Wednesday night, I was in tears, because I had convinced myself those were all evaporation lines, and I wasn't in fact pregnant. I started regretting telling anyone, and wondering to myself - "Why didn't I just wait?" /sigh

I barely slept Wednesday night, knowing i had bloodwork at 7:30 the next morning. I had called them Wednesday and asked how long it would take to get the results back, because by this time, I was ready to check myself into a nut house, and ask them to knock my lights out.

So we got up, gave the Doctor's office some of my blood, went home, and waited. and waited. and waited. I paced, tried to sleep, paced, played wow, watched TV, tried to sleep, paced... you get the picture.

Thank goodness I set up my iPhone to sync with my work email, and now when we get voicemails on our phones, we get an email as well. I was sitting there, and heard an email come in on my phone, and I saw RMA of Texas. When I listened to the message - I just heard "Congratulations" and didn't hear the rest of the message. I had no clue what else she said. Once I went back and listened again, I was glad I did - because i needed to schedule another appointment! hehe...

So here I am. My second round of bloodwork was yesterday, and she said the HcG hormone was rising beautifully.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I still can't believe it. I had no idea I would be this way. I thought - meh - pregnancy, I'll be excited. I find myself moving around carefully (cause at first I didn't want to "shake" anything loose. HA!), and i worry about every little pain, or strange feeling I have. I still had almost convinced myself even the bloodwork was wrong. After yesterday's results, though, I'm just like - "Hey! Dummy! Sit back, relax and enjoy the life God is growing inside of you!" So that's what I'm going to do. I'm so very thankful that God is giving us this opportunity to have a child of our own. To love, to care for, to be needed...

I'm five weeks today, So - Here's what my baby will be doing this week:

(Taken from babycenter.com)
Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.

The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.

His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.

The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

Seriously? My baby's heart will begin to beat this week! Wow. Amazing. This is going to be a great journey!

Symptoms so far: Mild mild nausea every once in a while, extreme fatigue (i slept in my car before coming into to work), and crazy emotions - cry like a baby. Other than that, I think i feel pretty decent. Oh... and the girls are soooo sore, that it hurts to lay in bed, and wakes me up all night long. bleh.

Hmmm... ok?

First of all, if you're expecting a little one in the near future, or you have recetly had one - please please please do not be offended. I just have to get this off my chest.

This week alone, i have learned of about 5 people who are pregnant (on top of those I already knew about). /sigh ok. Seriously? I mean, really?

Lord, what are you trying to do to me? Especially in my 2WW? I seriously would like to crawl under a rock until next Thursday, or whatever day I finally give in and POAS. It's still way to early, being only 9DPIUI, but I'm like. hmmm... can I wait until Monday? who knows?

I'm so silly sometimes, tho - sitting still and just trying to see if I feel anything. anything. A little sharp pain somewhere, a tiny bit of nausea, dizziness, fatigue, anything. I even sit there, and think about different foods, and see what I feel. Do I feel repulsed by it? Do I all of a sudden want it, and will not stop until I get it? nope. Of course - I can make myself feel all of those things if I want to.

Like - I'll get a quick 5 second wave of nausea, but it passes. I wanna fall asleep on my desk, but yet, I can't sleep. The other night, I felt this crazy little numbness come and go on the left side of my belly, and I thought to myself - hmm... implantation that might have touched a nerve?

I'm seriously torturing myself. I so want this to have worked. I'm actually not sure if I can handle this crazy emotional roller coaster again if it doesn't work. I do not like the demon that comes out in me when I get angry. and I mean angry. Things breaking and flying across the apartment angry. Uncontrollable anger with shaking and wanting to pass out anger. that's only come out of couple of times, but that's more than plenty.

Last night - I went from raging to crying uncontrollably. Everything made me cry. Then John made me laugh and I was actually laughing and sobbing at the same time. geez...

All I can do at this point is pray. If this IUI didn't work - i either need different meds, or to not do this at all. While I want a baby more than anything in this world right now - I'm not willing to let John stay in the line of fire constantly. I love him with everything that I am - he's the most amazing man, and I'm not gonna lose him.

ok -done ranting now. now back to your regularly scheduled programs.

2WW - Half way there!

I'm halfway through my two week wait now. /sigh. Can I just go to sleep, and wake up next Thursday? Here's an update since my IUI last Tuesday. (this is an email that I sent to several friends on Facebook, but I thought it would work here, too.)

It was not a great week. Last Sunday evening, I took the HcG "trigger" shot, and Monday morning, I was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable. I just felt really "full." Tuesday morning, John and I went in for the IUI, and it wasn't my normal doctor that did it. It was another lady in the office, and she really doesn't say much. She was just like "well, everything looks good! Lay here until this timer goes off, and then you can leave." I have no idea what size the follicles were, how many had developed, or anything. Silly me kept thinking she would take the measurements, but by the time I thought to ask, she was already out. So, anyways... By Tuesday afternoon, i was VERY uncomfortable - Like I had been pumped full of air. I did go to work, but i couldn't sit in my chair very long, so I ended up just going back home to the couch. Wednesday was ok, and ThursDAY was meh.. Thursday night, tho. Oh. my. gosh. It was awful. I was in tears from the pain, and i don't generally cry from pain. I have a pretty high pain tolerance. THe pressure was almost more than I could handle, and well, it was just painful. I was about to have John take me to the ER, but i decided to call the Doctor's office first. I left a message, and within 5 minutes. yes, FIVE minutes, my doctor called me back. He's so funny. He was apologizing to me for calling from a restaurant that decided to start playing disco music right as he called. haha... anyways - as soon as I told him what I was feeling - he knew what it was. He told me to take a couple of Extra Strength Tylenol, and come in Friday morning. It took a little while, but the meds kickd in, and i got some relief.

Long story short - once he did the ultrasound, he was right - I had Moderate Ovarian Hyperstimulation Sydrome (OHSS). My body had way overreacted to the meds, so I really was "full." :-) I did have a cyst rupture as well, so there was quite a bit of fluid build up. This one was mild compared to the ruptured cysts I had in 2003 in Houston, that landed me in the hospital for 2 days. He told me to just take it easy - not to make any brisk movements, just so that another didn't rupture as well. He also told me to stay home - not to sing this weekend as I was scheduled to do.

The good news is - he said that this could be a positive thing. He said a lot of times this develops and goes to the moderate stage (of the three stages, mild, moderate, severe) if there is a pregnancy. :-)

I couldn't help but smile, but it's way too soon for me to get my hopes up yet. FOr the most part, the pain has subsided. I still get small waves of pretty crazy pain, but i can walk normal now, where as last week, i was crouched over when i walked.

Thank you for your prayers, and please continue. One more week, and while i feel like this week is going to last forever - I look back, and can't believe the IUI was a week ago tomorrow! wow.

I'm incredibly sleepy this morning after a good night's sleep, and have a small headache. hmmm...Of course - I'm so mental - i could make myself have every symptom there is if I wanted to. bleh. :-)

I will continue to keep you updated!

It's HOT!

So, in honor of our A/C being out here at the office, I would like to share one of my favorite Shel Silverstien poems.

We have hit a smeltering 82 degrees in the office (I know, that's not THAT hot, but inside a stuffy building with 50 people.... it's HOT!!!!) Thankfully, it seems to be only one unit out.

Now, without further adieu...


It’s Hot!
By Shel Silverstein

It’s hot!
I can’t get cool,
I’ve drunk a quart of lemonade,
I think I’ll take my shoes off
And sit around in the shade.

It’s hot!
My back is sticky,
The sweat rolls down my chin.
I think I’ll take my clothes off
And sit around in my skin.

It’s hot!
I’ve tried with ‘lectric fans,
And pools and ice cream cones.
I think I’ll take my skin off
And sit around in my bones.

It’s still hot!

Happy Chillin!

Happy New Year, some updates, and new car!

Happy New Year!

So, for my first post of 2010, I'd like to start out by saying that as far as my goals for last year... well, EPIC FAIL. I'm ok with that, tho, because 2009 was one hell of a year. (sorry for the use of the word hell.)

I can be totally ok with the fact that I didn't accomplish the goals I set for myself, because I, in fact, accomplished a lot of things this year. The biggest? My $61k debt - paid off. I am free from my debt! Well, until my impulse buy took place on December 30. (more about that to come.)

I also accomplished some pretty major projects at my office this year, including helping facilitate three major moves of our office staff into separate locations. I learned so many new things, but I will say this - If the word "Move" comes up in regards to the offices, I'm runnin! :-) hehe... nah - I really enjoyed almost every minute of it.


Other major things for 2009: My grandmother learned she had breast cancer, and had a mastectomy to remove it, my mom was admitted into ICU on her death bed due to Aspirin Toxicity, and we certainly will never forget the loss of someone who fought so hard against that nasty "C" word we hate so much. Troy will always be missed and loved, but knowing he is cancer free - Well, you can't help but celebrate that! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him and Jeremy and PawPaw. I just wish we were all there with them!

John and I took a vacation to Destin, FL, and this was the first actual vacation I had been on since I still lived at home with mom and dad. 1992, i believe it was. We had so much fun. The sights were beautiful, and since we were there in the off season, there were no crowds, and our condo, which was absolutely GORGEOUS, was so cheap!!! I would love to go back next year, but due to our impulse buy (mentioned above, and to be described below) might have just cancelled that trip for us! (Unless, some others wanted to go and split the costs!) :-) Any takers?

So, with that being said - I'm not going to set any goals this year for myself. I plan to take this year one day at a time, because you never know what could happen, and what could change. Here's to 2010!

-

I got to go to Buna this year for Christmas - and other than the above mentioned happenings, this is the first time I got to visit since LAST year. We got to spend quite a bit of time there, so that was good. My mom is doing WAAAAAY better than I've seen her in years, and that made the visit so much more enjoyable. I've always had a hard time leaving her when she wasn't doing so well, because I was worried about her. I thought it would be easier if she was doing better, because I wouldn't worry so much. I learned pretty quickly this wasn't the case at all. It was MUCH harder to leave her - because she's the mom I've wanted back for a long time. The mom that i could actually get out and do things with. The mom i could go [window] shopping with, and take out to eat. The mom I could enjoy - and yet - I'm hours away, and don't get to enjoy those times with her. We both cried extremely hard when John and I packed that little red rocket up and headed back west. I also got to spend some good time with my dad and grandfather, not to mention a lot of my family that I haven't seen in forever! /sigh What a wonderful holiday it was. The best I've had in a long time.


On the way home from Buna, John and I got to talking about the future. We were talking about how there could be a baby this year, and as we began looking around the car, we realized that if there's a baby - there's NO ROOM!!! That car was packed so full, that John had to empty our food bag, and slide food into any little nook and cranny he could find. My Honda is bigger than his car, but it had sooooo many miles on it, and was beginning to have little problems here and there, so we didn't like to travel in it. I basically used it to go back and forth to work. It was still a great car, don't get me wrong - and I loved it, but we didn't totally trust it. We kinda tossed around some SUVs we liked, and then that was the end of the conversation.

Tuesday morning (Dec. 29), I emailed my mother in law, who works at Tom Benson Chevrolet here in town, just to check in with her, and at the end, I just asked if she could get me a price on a couple of SUVs there at the dealership. Told her we weren't doing anything right now, just kinda starting to plan for the future.



Wednesday, we had off, and I asked John if he would like to go pick his mom up, and take her to lunch, since we didn't get to spend Christmas with them, and she's been pretty stressed lately. Soooo.... We went and picked her up, and took her to lunch. When we got back to the dealership, she told us she had spoken with someone who could give us more info on the cars we were looking at. So we walk over to the used car lot, because there was an Equinox there, and we got a little interested in a couple of other SUVs sitting on the lot as well. One, however, caught our eye. a 2006 Nissan Murano. It was beautiful. and not a color that you see on the road every day. I've seen a ton of white ones, and those wine colored ones, but not this gray. When I peeked in through the window, I just knew we couldn'y afford this car, but we asked for the keys anyways. When he came back out, he told us the price. We were shocked! This car had some minor body blemishes, but nothing that couldn't be fixed with a high speed and some polish, and it only had 15k miles on it! On top of the already low price, we got the employee price as well, because of John's mom. sweet! We took it for a test drive, and fell in love with it.

I hesitated, though, because of the whole financing thing. We knew what we could afford, and really hated the thought of having two car notes. We knew that if we could get something for about the same as what we're paying for the SRT4, we could do it. We told him we had a Honda for trade in but it was at home, and needed a little cleaning (We left it at home on purpose. So that we couldn't leave the lot with something.) HA! that didn't work! So, we drove home, cleaned out the Honda, took it to the car wash, and went back to the lot. As we were cleaning, I was praying. "Lord, if it's your will for us to have this car, and you know that we can handle the payments of two cars, then I pray you work this out. If it's not in your plans for us to have this car, then I pray the financing doesn't work out. But Lord, if it doesn't, please help me to be ok with that. Please help me to not be too disappointed, because at least the Honda still runs, and I'm thankful for that."


Fast forward FIVE HOURS. Yes, FIVE HOURS. I was nauseated i was so nervous. I really thought we'd be leaving with that Honda, which was ok. We had told each other that that would be ok with us. We didn't need to get rid of the Honda, per se. Robert, our salesman, walked out of the finance office, and gave us the thumbs up, and proceeded to write our name on the "Today's Sales" board. WOOT!!! I can't believe we got it!! We waited about another hour before everything was finally done, and we signed a ton of paperwork.

Now, for the neatest part of this story?


I had to drive the Honda across and park it at the used car building. As I was getting out, there was a lady and her daughter standing there. She was like "Is this your car?" I said "Yes Ma'am." She said "We saw it, and they told us it was being traded in, and would be for sale. We want that car!"


Do HUH?? Are you serious???


These people had been car shopping ALL DAY LONG (it's about 7pm by now), and everything they found within their price range had a ton of miles on it, but was in crappy shape. My car had 120k on it, but was still in good shape. I almost wanted to cry! I told her what a great car it had been - that I was the only owner - and had put every mile on it myself. I thought she was gonna cry. I seriously saw God's hand in that whole situation. This girl is a senior in high school, and is going into the military next year, and needed something while she was still here. She was about in tears - she even asked me if I had named it! She thought it was pretty funny when I told her it was Hellina. Get it? Hellina Honda? :-) ok - cheesy I know, but they thought it was funny.


I handed the keys over to the dealership, hugged the girl's neck, and John and I left in our new car. The next day, when we brought the Honda title back, They were there, getting their financing worked out for it. I saw my little car there, and felt at peace, because I knew the right thing had been done. It may cost John and I little extra in the long run, but we helped a family out, and that makes me feel good. That car took me through a lot of stuff. Jeremy drove it when it was just a couple of weeks old to Buna for he and I to surprise mom for her birthday. Just a couple of months later, it would be driving me to his apartment after I learned he had passed away. That car took us on numerous trips to see family - it carried my dogs in it, and it protected Scott and I when we hydroplaned off of Interstate 45, almost right underneath an 18 wheeler. It nearly got traded in back when we lived in Houston, and couldn't afford to pay the note. We couldn't get financed. Then I listed it on Auto Trader, and ended up getting to keep it, because Scott got a job in San Antonio. It carried my most precious belongings to San Antonio on August 13, 2005. It was the first car I ever had that was paid off. That car helped me move my stuff out, when Scott and I split up.


Time for me to move on now, and let someone else make new memories with my Hellina! She was good to me for 7 1/2 years, but I have someone new to make memories with now. I don't have a name for her yet, but I will come up with one.



So - there ya have it. A totally unexpected New Year's present!

Here are some pictures. Since these were taken, we've cleaned the car totally and conditioned the seats and complete interior, so it looks even better!

When You Wish Upon a Star

Hello! It's me! :-)

I don't have much time to write this morning, but this is something short and sweet that I just felt I had to share.

November 16, 2002 - 5:30 a.m.

The phone rang. Since i was asleep, i didn't make it to the phone, but when i checked the caller ID, and it was my dad, my heart sank. I just knew that my grandfather or someone close had passed away. There was no way I could prepare myself for the words that would come out of his mouth when I called him back.

"Melissa. Jeremy died." I literally told him to hang up, and call me back later when I was awake. It couldn't be true. Jeremy? OUR Jeremy? This isn't possible. I got to his apartment as fast as I could. That was the longest 4 mile drive of my life. I swear it took 6 hours. Didn't it?

The rest of the story is really too painful to talk about - but every year, at this time, I remember him, and am overcome with sadness. I suppose it'll never get easier.

The day before he passed away, he called and left a message on my answering machine. It was the last time I would hear his voice. I have it saved - and I can't remember what all it said, except for him being funny, and then at the end, he said "I love you." I can't tell you how grateful I am that those were his last words to me.

---
November 16, 2009, 6:30 am

I was on my way to work, having a long talk with God. I began to pray for mom and dad as they remember Jeremy today too. I kid you not - at the very moment I began to pray for them, and I mentioned Jeremy's name - I saw a falling star. The tears began to flow, and I was just speechless.

When I first began praying - i asked the Lord to forgive me for Him not being the focus in my life, as He should be. When I saw the falling star, it was just like the Lord telling me a whole bunch of things...

"I forgive you."

"Everything will be ok."

"Jeremy is safe in my arms."

I have a couple of very crazy weeks ahead of me, and after my long talk this morning, I feel like I can handle it. I feel like everything's going to be ok.

Thank you Lord for showing me you're there for me.

There is Hope!

John and I had our follow up visit yesterday with Dr. A. I had been praying about this visit, and when we went in, I really had a peace about everything. Didn't know why, but I did. (Well, I know that God gave me that peace.) I had been praying about it so that I would be prepared for anything he had to say.

Dr. A told me that everything looks perfect, and is functioning correctly, other than the fact that the sperm seem to be going to the dance alone. My eggs aren't showing up. :-) hehe. we thought that was cute. He presented a treatment option to us (150 mg Clomid + another med that surpresses the male hormones that apparently are keeping me from ovulating - I knew I was feeling strong lately!) Then I could go through another series of ultrasounds, but the cost would be $950. If it didn't work, it would be $950 for each cycle until I got pregnant. or until we moved to another method of treatment, where the cost escalates dramatically. I was a little crushed, because there's no way we can afford that. They want the payment all at once.

I asked them about John's insurance, because I will be solely on his in January. She said she would try, but generally, insurances don't cover fertility treatments at all. She said she was going to go try and find something out.

While she was gone, John and I discussed a few other things, and when she came back in, she had a big smile on her face. She said "um. I have very good news. Your insurance covers three IUIs and three IVFs!!"

Thank. You. Lord.

That's amazing. Less than 15% of insurances cover those treatments, much less cover IN FULL. That's 6 whole months of treatment covered, and Dr. A just looked at me and said "I think it's only gonna take one - two treatments at the most IF you aren't pregnant by the time you come back in January. "

WOO HOO!! He also said "Now, Melissa. You CAN ovulate on your own, and I'll tell you how, but you can't hit me."

"I'm listening."

"You need to lose about 5% of your body mass, and it will start happening again on it's own."

--
So, my friends, I already know the reason why things have worked out the way they have. I have the next 3 1/2 months to work on getting my weight down to where it's supposed to be (my height and age indicate I should be between 125-135, and I'm at 146 now. Was at 153 when I started!!), and just prepare myself for what could come in 2010! Maybe, just maybe, if I get the weight off, i'll start having my monthly visitor on a regular basis, and not have to induce her medically. Dr. A. prescribed me Provera, but wants me to wait two months before taking it.

Our plans for the next few months are to just enjoy each other as a couple, with no stress about babies, but if it happens, we'll be thrilled.

Woo Hoo! Thank you Lord for answered prayers!

Opening the Door into the Infertility World

My name is Melissa, and I'm infertile.

Hope is not lost at this point, but disappointment has set in.

I do love the New Living Translation version of Psalm 130:5.

I am counting on the Lord; Yes, I am counting on Him.
I have put my hope in His Word.

This is all we can do at this point. Trust in the Lord. His way is perfect.

Please do not be offended, but while encouragement is appreciated, the last words i want to hear right now, are:

"If it's meant to be, God will give you a baby when it's the right time." (or any variation on that) While true, that's not very comforting to me right now. Yes, I know that God will give me a baby when "the time is right," but those words are not going to make me feel better right now. They are not going to take away my desire to have a little one.

---

I do not want to post details of this week's Doctor visit yet. I want to wait until we sit down with Dr. A next week and actually hear what our options are. All I can ask of you right now is to pray for us. Pray for the right treatment plan, and for us to be wise in the decisions we make as to how far into this journey we want to venture.

I have made some lifestyle changes in hopes of getting in front of the PCOS (lost 5 lbs already!), and maybe... just maybe... I can convince my body to do normal girly things without a lot of intervention.

Our next scheduled appointment is Wednesday - 09.09.09 :-)

--

The good news? I put the deposit down on our Destin, FL Condo yesterday! It's OFFICIAL! We're goin! Woo Hoo!!

The First Visit

Well,


I've got the baby fever now, and I have it bad. I'm slowly but surely coming out of the "funk", and the baby fever is almost full on. :-)


I decided that with the two crappy ObGYN visits I've had already this year, I would just take the advice a friend gave me several years ago, and just skip straight to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). I kept seeing signs telling me to go there. Well, so maybe it was the actual sign on the side of the building that I pass going to and from work every single day, but it's still a sign, right?

I visited their website, and after digging through, wondering if I should do it or not, I used the little "contact us" link, and sent them an email. 2 hours later, I received a phone call. Not only did I get a phone call from the office, but the Doctor himself. Yes. That's right. THE ACTUAL DOCTOR CALLED ME. Huge plus in my book. When I called back, i got the lady he had mentioned in my voicemail, and it was like she knew me already. He had given her the information from my email, and she was expecting my phone call.

We set up the appointment. August 12. (ironic, seeing as how this would have been my 9th wedding anniversary with my first husband..) We entered the office, and immediately, i was relaxed. They were friendly, and they didn't treat me like I got treated at this OB visit.

I turned in my what seemed like 500 forms I had to fill out before coming in, and then they took mine and John's picture together to put in the records. They said "Y'all are in this together, so we treat you as one." again. i like this.

We got called back to this little open area that had sperm all over the floor, and I wondered to myself if the sperm were leading to the little dark rooms in the back for a reason. :-) I would later find out they were. hehe That's a part of the office I don't care to go into. Don't wanna know what all's back there!

Then the Doctor came out, and called us in his office. He had already read through my paperwork, so he began just asking me questions. He was very thorough. He even asked me if some of my family members were bald. He knew he was asking me strange questions, but he said this was to try and get as much of a hormone background as he could. He then gave us a power point presentation with some statistics, and other interesting information. Did you know that one in three infertile couples is due to the male? That seemed like a pretty high number to me. I had no idea! I also didn't know that in 100 pregnancies, only 30 will actually make it to live healthy birth. The percentage of people who are pregnant and miscarry without even knowing it is huge! Anyways - I asked him about PCOS, and he really didn't seem to be phased by it at all. He told me there was no cure for it, and (another statistic here) 90% .. 90% of women have PCOS. Most are just asymptomatic. I wish I was one of those!

After the visit, we went into another room where I had my vajayjay probed by the ultrasound mechanism. I hardly noticed though, because I was intrigued by the fact that they actually thought of putting a monitor on the ceiling so that when you're lying on your back with your legs spread open for the whole world to see, you can see what the doctor's looking at. Doesn't mean I could tell what I was looking at. Just a bunch of gray matter, and every-once-in-a-while, I could see one little round thing, and apparently one was a cyst, and one was an ovary. :-/

That was my exam. The doctor is working with me to make this as affordable as possible, since they don't take my primary insurance and I'm self pay. $$$$$ (they accept my secondary, but they won't file on it. I'll be switching over in January. Thank goodness. :-) ) - this means I'll be going to my regular Doctor to get my blood work drawn, and then just have the results sent over. John, however, got to have his blood drawn, because UH is his primary. Apparently, for some infertility treatments, it's required by law for both partners to be tested for HIV, Hepatitis, and other diseases.

So... Here's the plan. Summarized.

I started taking Provera, since I haven't had a period since April.
On CD1, I call the doctor, and we set up a schedule for the following:
- Days 5-9 take Clomid (bring on the hot flashes, baby!)
- somewhere in Days 9-11, have another ultrasound to see the status of my system.
- Around days 11-13, start an antibiotic, and have an x-ray procedure done to make sure my tubes aren't blocked.

Next week, John gets to bring a cup full of his "goodies" to the office for his Sperm Analysis. For the record - we chose to do this at home, rather than follow the sperm on the floor to one of the little back rooms. :-) We just have to get it to the office fairly quickly. It is precious cargo, you know! Thank goodness we live about 3 miles from the office!

Once all that's done, then we sit down, and talk about all the results, and what the next plan of action is.

I'm excited, and nervous all at the same time. I feel like we've officially started. I've read so many blogs with these same type stories on them, and now I are one of them blogs!

John and I have already had long discussions about how far into this we want to go, and already talked about the possibility of adoption if it comes to that. For now, we are going to take this one step at a time, and see what God's will for us is.

I ask that if you made it this far, reading this long blog, that you take a moment and pray for John and I as we prepare to take some pretty big steps to help make our family grow. We both want this really bad, and already many tears have been shed from the disappointments we've already had.

I will keep the blog updated as much as I can with updates.

*DING*... You are now off track…

Just a forewarning: This is not a fun, happy post. This is a post about what I’m feeling right now, and have been feeling for a while… If you are bored to tears, or this post brings up any other emotions, you can’t say I didn’t warn you. For others, it may just be affirmation that someone else out there is going through the same struggles. Oh, and it’s long.

Movin’ on now.

I laid down in bed the other night, and John was in the shower. It was pitch black, and quiet, except for the sound of the fan in the bedroom, and the running water in the bathroom. I had just barely dozed when I hear *DING* “You are now off track.” Huh? My first reaction was to jump outta bed with the .45 and shoot whoever just entered my apartment run and hide in the closet.

It was one of those times when a thousand things can run through your head in a time that feels like forever. But, it didn’t take me but a minute to realize that the silly little female animated voice was John’s phone that must be possessed. It was sitting on the dining table, and just kicked itself into GPS mode. I’m not sure where it thought I was going, but something has been ringing in my head since that night.

Maybe it wasn’t the silly phone being weird, yelling out that I’m not headed in the right direction. Maybe it was a subtle (ok, maybe not so subtle) message from God telling me I’m not headed in the right direction in my life. Funny thing is that I feel I’ve been running in circles for a while now, and can’t seem to get to where I want to be. I have so many good intentions, but no motivation.

I suppose you can say I’ve been in a bit of a pity party for myself for a little while now. I’ve had some health issues that have been buggin’ the fire out of me. Something is going on that makes me absolutely so tired that I can barely hold my eyes open a lot of the time. John and I were in a raid on WoW the other night, and I actually fell asleep in the middle. For those of you WoW players, you know that raids are intense, and there’s so much going on, you don’t have much time to think about anything else. Yeah. Out. Right in the middle of it.

My attitude has been down right sucky lately – my poor husband catching a lot of it. I thank God I have such a patient man. I know I’m not the easiest person to live with sometimes. I don’t want to do anything around the house, and we’ve eaten out so much, because I don’t have the energy to cook. To cook, you have to have food. To have food, you must go to the grocery store. To go to the grocery store, you have to have motivation. To have motivation, you have to have energy. Oh. That’s the problem.

Of course the lack of energy leads to laziness, which leads to…you guessed it! Weight gain. Weight gain = severe self esteem issues. I’m supposed to be on synthroid, but I’m too lazy to take it. I know that if I were to take it – I would probably feel somewhat better. I’ve been injecting myself with triple the dose of B12 just to be able to function throughout the day. Sometimes, that works a little. (yes, it’s ok. It’s a water soluble vitamin. Not gonna hurt me.)

I’ve been to the doctor, but nothing’s coming up right now. I do know that I’ve had some sort of a bladder/kidney infection since about November of last year – and the doctors can’t seem to get rid of that either. Which leads me to another issue. I don’t like to leave the house, since every trip to the bathroom is an emergency. I have to plan everything around places that have restrooms. I’ve had one – yes ONE monthly cycle since January. And that one was medically induced. I want a baby. Yes, I know I’ve only been married 9 months – but remember – I was married for 7 years before that with the same issues.

I’m just frustrated with a lot lately – I’m frustrated that the nights I actually do something, and I’m not home, John gets off of work on time. Then, the nights that I’m home waiting for him to get there, he gets off at 9:30. I wish he had a job that he could be home on the weekends. If my family was closer, it may not seem so bad, but it’s an act of congress to get a day off from Time Warner on a weekend if we want to do anything. And we all know what Congress is like now.

My biggest issue right now though is my self esteem. It’s so in the dumps right now. I know I’m not fat, but I’m well over the weight I need to be . I can’t wear half the clothes in my closet, and I don’t have the money to buy anything else (a large chunk of my paycheck goes to my ex each month). The ones I have – I wear the tale off of. They are faded, have holes in them, or are just about to fall apart in general. Shopping depresses me because I’m a hard body to fit. My chest is quite a bit larger than most people my size, so in order to fit that, the clothes swallow me everywhere else. If they fit decent through the waist, then I can’t zip it all the way up. I found the perfect dress for my wedding day, but couldn’t zip it past my chest. Grrr.. My face is broken out like a 14 year old kid. Nothing in this world hides what is going on there. I’ve tried all sorts of different products – but I think the hormones are completely overriding any product I buy. I look at pictures of me recently, and I barely recognize the girl I see. My eyes almost shut, and I seem to get all stiff when a camera is in front of me. I think that's the self esteeem part coming out.

Bleh.

Yeah, there’s a lot more, but I suppose I’ll stop. If you’ve made it this far, wow. Thanks for stickin by me.

I'll get better. I'm just in a lull right now, and will get out eventually. Prayers are appreciated. :-)

Friday Flashback

Do you know what it's time for?

Didt Didt Didtldidt Didt Didt Didldidt didt didt didldidt didt deeeet!!!

(cue Cotton Eyed Joe)

HIK NOOZ!!!

Well, i'm sure only those that went to SLC, and know what Hik Nooz was are the only ones who can say "Didt Didt Didledidt"... hehe Can you believe how crazy we went when brothers "Brian" and "K-Brian" hit the show with Cuz Hurl? wow...

We all know that FBC Buna was famous on Hik Nooz... We made it on the show every year. Or I did, at least.

Hmmm... I got my name monkey girl, because they got told about me hanging from streamers in Taco Bell making monkey noises.... They made me do my monkey sounds in front of the whole camp, and then they pulled out their "guns" and pointed them at me... HA!

The next year - I made it because of this story:

I was having a conversation with someone about my new hair dryer I was so proud of..(yeah, i know..) I was talking about how powerful it was when I turned it on and POP!!! Fire came out of the plug, and it knocked the lights out in the whole dorm!! oops.

The next day, on Hik Nooz, Brian and K-Brian came out with hairdryers, dancing around to the music from "Mission Impossible." And then they told me story... thankfully, once people found out who was responsible for knockin the lights out, they didn't do the same to me. :-)

Oh, how I miss Student Life Camp! Those were the days!!

Here's me today, sporting myHik Nooz shirt...(Why did I buy such a huge shirt? It swallows me now, and I'm 50lbs heavier than I was then!)

Friday Flashback

Well, I'm sure you all notice one common denominator in each of these pictures. Yep - one of my dearest friends, Mitch Keeler!

Mitch and I go way back - farther than anyone in my entire life. We have been singing together for years, have some umm..Children's Church memories, mistletoe memories, GA party memories, we went to 8th grade prom together, Many plays - Buna Children's Theater, learning the "real words" to the Cotton Eyed Joe, The night I proposed to him in a Wendy's in Baytown, where he turned me down, and some of our favorite memories together are from our Drum Major times... I still believe we were two of the best drum majors that went through! If you look at any picture of us in action on the field, we are in the same exact position... To this day, we sing together when we can...

Here we are leading worship this past Christmas:


The reason my post is about Mitch, is because he is taking the plunge this weekend, and I'm so happy! He met a beautiful girl by the name of Jamie while he was in Austin, and it was all up from there! I'm honored to be singing "But Beautiful" for the Bride and Groom's first dance.

Mitch,

We've been through a lot together, and I'm so thrilled that God has sent you that someone special. I pray that you have a very happy marriage with kids that can sing and act (hehe). :-) At my [first] wedding, you gave Scott some advice, which thankfully, he never followed - but my advice for Jamie -

If Mitch makes you mad - Stand under a bundle of mistletoe, call his name, and when he comes to kiss you - RUN!! :-) (or throw a party at his house that he's not allowed to attend, just to watch him kick his legs and scream.)

- and that's all for pouring sprite on my head because i wouldn't sit by you.

Love ya Mitch!!

CONGRATULATIONS TO BOTH OF YOU!